Devil’s Advocate
Where Beatmag Defends The Indefensible
Alexis Wheeler stands tall for the stick in the salad
Oh celery. The high-fibre spoon for pregnant women eating peanut butter, the vegetable swizzle stick for Bloody Mary sipping jet-setters, the ‘despicable’ source of roughage for youngsters who can’t bare the stuff. The ol’ green twig has become pigeon-holed as a pointless, water based, tasteless mass of green nothingness associated with country soups and a dull finger foods.
Just to get it over with, let’s look at the healthy side. The rumour that you burn more calories than you gain when you eat a stick is a myth. I mean, surely such a conundrum would cause all kinds of universal, scientific problems? There’d be people spontaneously disappearing all over the place. The truth is that celery, at about two calories a stalk, provides the body with a good source of potassium that helps to control blood pressure and counteract the negative effects of too much salt on the diet.
Celery is also one of the great British vegetables. This is mainly due to the fact that it grows well as a winter food in damp conditions and that it actually evolved to fend of frost by growing tall and narrow within insulating soil (this resilience is part of the reason the Victorians were quite keen).
Celery has a somewhat bizarre history. The Romans believed that the old veg prevented hangovers, the Ancient Greek athletes were presented with bushels of the stuff instead of bouquets of flowers and the traditional Oriental medicine cites celery as a sure-fire way of lowering blood pressure. There are even mentions of celery being an aphrodisiac; Madame de Pompadour (Rococo obsessive and seductive mistress of Louis XV) herself was known to gorge on celery soup washed down with a large serving of hot chocolate to get things going.
Then, of course, comes the Bloody Mary. Possibly the biggest claim to fame for the leafy green stick is that it is often seen protruding from a glass of the red cocktail. The Bloody Mary dates back to the 1920s and the legendary Parisian Bar, Harry’s New York Bar (I’m guessing by the bar’s name that this was a little like having a Hard Rock Café in Bucharest). It actually wasn’t until the 1960s that celery was used in the drink. A guest at a Chicago Hotel was served a Bloody Mary with nothing to stir it with and improvised with a stick of celery from the buffet.
Being involved in a cocktail must carry some cache? Certainly, this puts celery up there with the lime and even the olive in terms of edibles that need to be kept behind a well stocked cocktail bar?
Surely this background alone should be enough to harbour some praise for the carrot’s cousin? Even without the history – celery is one of the most practical, healthy (there’s that word again) snacks there is. I’ve always loved the stuff, even from a young age. It’s also worth noting that I’m one of those weird kids who ate broccoli and spinach. I just consider it incredibly practical as a snack and enjoy the crunch it makes; if you’re not cooking or making salad from it, celery requires no peeling, chopping, or dicing. It’s like an apple, you clean it and eat it. But, no. Modern times have seen celery associated with ‘Dr.’ Gillian McKeith (‘You Are What You Eat?’ What the hell has she been scoffing?) and size 0 privet hedge munching catwalk power-walkers. Celery’s modern problem is that it’s used as ‘cheat food’ for dieters. You see, the high water content makes you feel full even though you’ve probably only got about 20 calories in you (a typical tea biscuit contains 60 calories). I think it’s high time that celery got some better press from people who actually enjoy good food and who are not totally health-obsessed. Celery is a cheap addition to any salad, soup or stew. Then there is the aforementioned cocktail use and even a bit of peanut butter spoon-age for the more eccentric. So I call upon you all to pick some up next time you’re out shopping for food – with all these uses surely you should have some in the fridge at all times?
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