By now you’ve probably heard that the founder of the legendary Gangstarr suffered a heart attack last week. The good news is that after surgery on Monday he’s back on the mend. At this stage little other news is available other than an unnamed source being quoted as saying “Guru is alive and recovering from his surgery. Doctors are expecting a full recovery luckily.” However, the internet being what it is there’s plenty of misinformation doing the rounds, with MTV.com flying the flag of poor research at full mast, attributing quotes to people who may have said bugger all on the issue. Good work guys. Maybe have your work experience bods stick to bagel-fetching in future…
Most recently Guru has been working with producer Solar and Beatmag were fortunate enough to catch up with the duo last year. However for fans of his earlier work with Gangstarr, a tidy ‘Get Well Soon’ mix by DJ Wonder has been doing the rounds and will serve as a reminder as to why the man is held in such high regard by so many of us.
Download – DJ Wonder – Get Well Soon (The Guru Respect Mix)
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Festival Special
With the indefatigable Blackbelt Jonez
Tis the season to get wasted, tra la la la la etc. Now, unless you’re super rich and unemployed (and therefore probably a dealer) then you’ll be finding the arrival of lots of new festivals gets your mind all twisted up, thinking ‘great’, ‘annoying’ and ‘hmmm’ in a confusing tandem of contradiction. How will you find the time to go to them all and how will you afford to part with a considerable wedge of your hard-earned cash? Well, the obvious answer is working in the bars and helping hoover the shit out of the portaloos, but that’s really for the students and the heavy smokers who have no sense of smell or pride remaining. You can’t go to all of the festivals, that’s just silly. Instead you should check out the marginally bitter Beatmag guide to some of the festivals that are going on this year. Glastonbury is off our radar – it’s had more than enough press over the last two months and all of that quibbling over Jay Z (who will do a great show) is silly…
Anyway, have a read, make a decision and shut up. (more…)
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June 2008
Airport
As if they weren’t already enough expensive distractions at airports, EMI have announced a partnership with Medianywhere which will enable pasty holiday makers to spunk the last of their coinage on any last minute tunes they’d forgotten to copy onto their MP3 players, meaning that any potential trauma involving an Aya Napa beach and some wanker from Croyden blasting the latest nauseating R n B hit out of his phone is no longer the nightmare we all imagined it couldn’t never not be. (more…)
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February 2008
With the indefatigable Blackbelt Jonez
IRON MAIDEN
Over the years many a plane has hurtled into the ocean with a bundle of birds clogging up its engine. Check out Iron Maiden’s solution – put a fucking scarecrow on your tail and watch the buggers shift out of your flight path quicker than you can say ‘beak baguette’. Eco-warriors Iron Maiden are not. In fact, their PR brags that they will be flying close to 100,000 miles on their 2008 World Tour, a juvenile boast if ever there was one. How about “At least 300 virgins will be deflowered by Tommy Lee once Motley Crue hit Europe…” or “Our security managed to stamp on over 600 camera-phones pointed ever-so slightly towards Prince during his recent ‘I Wonder If They’ll Notice That My Album Is Shite Tour’ last year”? (more…)
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September 2007
Edited By Blackbeltjonez whose opinions (notably about the Sex Pistols) are not necessarily those of Beatmag editorial. Mess with him, though, and you mess with us.
Fink
Even Britain’s rabid Sun newspaper has taken time out from nipples and immigrant-baiting to enjoy the good work of Ninja Tune’s Fink, suggesting some of his tunes to be better than those of Jose Gonzalez, high praise indeed for anyone brandishing a plectrum. (more…)
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July 2007
With the indefatigable Blackbelt Jonez
Apocalypto – released June 11th on DVD
Defenders of Mel Gibson and his mischievous ways will indicate that he is a changed man and suggest that any negative stories are ancient history that are best left in the past. Mel is clearly a fan of the past, telling tales that occasionally contain historical inaccuracies whilst his continued commitment to any cinematic involvement of high exposure of men’s legs shows no sign of abating. The DVD release of ‘Apocalypto’ presumably has a director’s cut that will feature bone-pierced genitals too graphic for cinema goers plus some bonus-feature ‘Gibson Diary’ with Mel himself applying bronzing lotion to a bemused looking extra. We look forward to eventual futuristic releases from Mel where he rebuilds Robocop with Wayne Rooney’s thighs. (more…)
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April 2007
With the indefatigable Blackbelt Jonez
Pop Levi invents the wheel
Clearly a favourite with boys and girls, mums and dads, ducks and squirrels etc, Pop Levi (real name Poppy Levington) has hit upon a great new idea. Brace yourselves: “People are encouraged to add Pop Levi’s instant messenger alter ego to their ‘buddy lists’ for a chance to chat to him using the popular instant messenger services”. (more…)
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December 2006
With the one and only Blackbelt Jonez
Air Pocket
Air are set to release ‘Pocket Symphony’ in March 2007, their follow up to ‘Talkie Walkie’ which sold 800,000 copies. Recorded over the past 18 months with long time producer Nigel Godrich, the album features vocals from Jarvis Cocker and Neil Hannon (Divine Comedy) as well as the Air boys themselves. (more…)
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November 2006
Diddy eats a squidy
Rap star and fashion mogul Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is in hot water with MTV after his latest video was banned by the station due to complaints about animal cruelty. The video for new single ‘Fish ‘n’ Fries (To Go)’ directed by award-winning director Alphonse DaPhone, depicts Diddy eating a live squid while rapping along to his lyrics. (more…)
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August 2006
SC-FI OF THE LAMBS
Author Thomas Harris has announced plans for the latest chapter in the saga of his cannibal aesthete creation Dr Hannibal Lecter. After the novel and film success of ‘Silence Of The Lambs’, ‘Hannibal’ and ‘Red Dragon’ (the latter filmed twice), the next book and cinema release will coincide in Autumn 2007. Harris has said that he has been heavily influenced by the ‘Friday The Thirteenth’ sequel ‘Jason X’ where psychopathic killer Jason Vorhees is transported into space many centuries hence. (more…)
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